So you’re probably wondering why you’re here. Shut up, stand up straight, look good and listen well.
Yves said to me, his royal ineffable pompousness, that there is a Confluence of Destiny here, at this time. I call bullshit but when that bastard says jump you say yes sir of course sir may I also spit in the face of fate and dance to the merry tune of inevitability please sir cause if you don’t well good ol’ Dom here ain’t gonna look too kindly now is he? That’s my Texan accent by the way, I’m trying it out. I don’t really like Texans, they’re…slow man, you know? Slow. Fat, really. They do good burgers though, anyways right yes where was I? Confluence, yeah that shit. He says and I quote, “Get a squad over there sharpish”. Well okay, I paraphrase, so my boss goes to your boss and says fuck knows really, what does Janus EVER say? He’s all too busy changing the conversation and stuff anyways you should hear him at parties, excuse me for a sec. Yes, champagne please. Two, no, for me, look just get it, right. Yeah, so Yves said to Janus who said to Dominic that we need some troops down here. Fuck knows why, you’re meant to meet someone or some shit. Hell man, this Yves, do you know what he said? Do you know? Well obviously, you don’t because well anyways. He said some mortal fucking cocksucking human is gravitating powers. Like, some kind of conduit for shit to happen or something. And we’ve got to save his ass. Fucking typical ain’t it, these humans ain’t never gonna stop needing saving. Anyways…yeah, so that’s why you’re here. I’m done man, this place is a little stiff for me.
The Ofanim pulls off his tie and drops it on a silver platter that passes by.
Black tie just isn’t my thing, ya know? Oh, and Yves said “Peace is an answer best left alone.” he said it’s important I say that. Fucking archangels. Why don’t they just oh fuck it what do I care, laters.
The Ofanim strides out to an open window and with no hesitation simply leaps outside, abandoning you to the mercy of the rich, the famous and the fabulous, the ballroom in full swing at the Dorchester hotel.